“METICULOUS is the ultimate expression of my frustration towards an industry that has rejected me time & time again.” - Ash Innovator
Since I began my journey as a filmmaker, it has been consistently difficult to gain any serious traction. I will go beyond using the word difficult & say, since I began my journey I haven’t had any traction. I fund my own creative projects, through the work I do for small clients, individuals, micro businesses & fortune 250 companies. However, the work comes few & far between.
As time has progressed & I have become more seasoned, one would think the rewards of my efforts would consistently put me closer to advancing my career. Well, many years after my first film, I feel as though I’m merely slightly above stage 1.
I have been to countless meetings, negotiation talks, entertained inquiries & nothing ever seems to come to fruition. I have even put my career aside for a bit, when I did my stint at MTV & still I just didn’t seem to ever get my feet on the ground there either. After my viral success w/“Way Too Cold”, gaining nearly 4 million YouTube views, one would have thought at least a hand full of opportunities would have presented themselves. There were none. I have reached out to countless reps, agents, advertising companies, music video commissioners & I can’t get passed the gatekeeper (the dreadful assistant). I’ve sent multiple emails, to people for whom I have actually gotten email addresses. For the most part, I haven’t gotten a response. Those that did respond (maybe two people) simply showed no interest. Oh how I HATE REJECTION.
2010, As I first conceptualized METICULOUS, I was extremely frustrated. All I could think of was the state of my career…everything I wasn’t doing…all the opportunities I didn’t have. The feeling of rejection I was experiencing was all too reminiscent of rejection from members of the
opposite sex. The feeling you get when you finally muscle up the courage to ask out the girl you’ve been eyeing for the last few months & she turns you down. That feeling.
METICULOUS is the ultimate expression of my frustration towards an industry that has rejected me time & time again. This was my way to get back at the film industry. A woman that exudes sex appeal represents the film industry. Her acts of self-mutilation express my frustration. In a crude manner, the face value of this film devalues her vagina, something men naturally find so valuable. This film has nothing to do w/self-mutilation, or her vagina for that matter. But the parallel of this film & my experiences work in cohesion, as I find the film industry very valuable & through my frustration of rejection I want to lash out, because it will not accept me. Artistically, METICULOUS is my way of lashing out.
The most realistic & soul bashing aspect of this film is the way she walks off, as if nothing happened, which indeed is another representation of my lashing out. METICULOUS may have no affect on the industry, but hopefully some can appreciate the film.